Amy has a post up at the Glorious Table today. We hope it speaks to you.
I have some very close friends who live far away. I hate the distance between us and how a coffee or a walk is generally impossible. However, I am thankful for technology and how we can meet every couple of weeks via video to catch up and do a biblical book study.
During our most recent meeting, we concluded by sharing how we can be praying for each other. I admitted out loud for the first time that God feels distant for me right now. I know it’s a feeling and not a reality. God is omnipresent. But while my mind knows this, my heart hasn’t been feeling it.
Identifying When God Feels Distant
I am not an extremely deep feeler. I have friends who are, and I admire their hearts and how their emotions ooze out so easily. I share my heart easily, but I am sometimes slow to identify how I’m feeling so that I can share. I require an intentional assessment of how I’m feeling in order to identify issues.
At the time I determined my distance with God, I was in a good season. It was before the full force of COVID-19, and I didn’t have any major problems or issues that are necessitating deep reliance on God. While I am grateful for the respite from some of my tougher seasons, I do miss the forced dependence on God. I also recognize the discomfort and tension that comes with a good season when I watch friends going through hard ones. Little did I know I had some forced dependence right on the horizon!
I am acquainted with a woman whose pastor husband recently struggled with mental health and made the choice to exit this world. He left behind his church, his wife, his four young children, and others. His wife spoke to a group of other pastors only a couple of months after his death. She spoke of how close Jesus felt to her in this season. She said she would never wish her pain on anyone, but she wished we could all experience the closeness she was feeling. How inspiring!